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Moth Nor Rust

by Dissociative Realism

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1.
UnDivine 03:46
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2.
Who Are You? What Are We? 03:00
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3.
Moth To A Moon 03:22
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4.
Give Him A Halo 02:18
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5.
Maxwell's Polka (Clown On Trial) 02:31
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6.
No More Prophecies 03:03
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7.
Empty Sky 02:40
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8.
New Moon 03:35
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about

A temporary departure of sorts. A temporary dip in gravity. Sometimes it just gets so heavy. The future is so heavy. And it weighs like a kiloton blast in my mind. This was made at a very specific time, during a specific kind of situation, a specific kind of episode, and specific kind of uneasiness and a specific kind uncertainty. There was a moth in my mind, banging around in panic, desperate for something to be certain and sure of, turning inward, eating into the steel and grey. Everything and everyone was a paranoia agent. And instead of frantic manic reaction....it was the slow, heavy, prodding, reverberation of a struggle of self reflection and an assessment of all things in my life. I kicked and screamed, and I internalized and sank inward. I became a weight. And I dragged my moth deeper. Because I could not bring myself to trust it. To trust its trajectory. It prophecized falsely, it prophecized truthfully. It was me. We were one. We were certain and uncertain. Lucid and delusional. And i was stark raving mad. But then something cleared. A weight lifted slightly. And my moth's eye's reflected light in the darkness for the first time in months. A moon shone above us. And a hand reached out. And I finally felt something other than the weight of desolate despair. It was hope. A divine intervention of sorts. A divine love and determination. A angelic light that stood at my gates and demanded my stubborness as it stood steadfast in its own. And it said "I love you". And I took that hand. And my moth flew to the light. The moon was spectacular. A true Goddex of warmth and hope. And I could not shed my unease, but my rust shed from the steel and my moth trusted the path. Neither Moth nor Rust hurt any longer. There was something to hold on to. And to trust. And it spoke again and my eyes welled and my ears bled and my heart raced and my eyes dilated and my ears could hear everything and my heart had hope held together in spot welds.

-Maybe You, Probably Me


Note: Tl;dr It's sad heavy and slow music based on the hurt and hope experienced while struggling through a psychotic episode. Cool? Cool.

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released May 5, 2023

Guitar, Bass, Drum Programming, and Art - Maybe You, Probably Me (Julia Molotok)

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Dissociative Realism Lancaster, California

Music For The Dissociated and Dead

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